I'm sure you've felt the same way from time to time. Like the toys are forming an ever-growing army and are poised at the edge of outright war against you. You've bitten back swear words when you step on a strategically placed, inevitably pointy, toy in the middle of the night. You've gathered bags of toys to donate, only to feel that it only made a mere dent in the madness. So I'm sure you won't judge me for what you will read, right?
Don't get me wrong, we have some great toys. I'm not a fan of junk, and things that aren't useful in some theraputic manner are often given away. To make life easier, I've even put together a toy rotation. I can even acknowledge that my kids have a pathetic stash, compared to, well...everyone else I've ever met with kids. But hey, when you have our meager earnings and 550 sq feet to live in, you tend to not acquire much. I can acknowledge all of these things....but...
I still feel like the toys are taking over. I put all the toys in the bin and the books on the shelf and I turn around and BAM! They are all out again, spread on the floor and flung about the room. I'm not even sure they are being played with as much as being thrown about. Drives. Me. Batty.
So yesterday I picked up all the toys and took them out of the living room so that I could rotate the stash. But before bringing in the new toys I decided to vaccuum and clean up a bit more. So I did all that and then I guess I just...forgot to bring out more toys. Almost 24 hours later they still haven't been replaced. So right now my kids have some books, 2 stuffed animals, a puzzle, and whatever they can find in the couch cushions to play with. And all I can think is "Look how nice it looks in here!!!!!!"
Bad Mommy.
And yet....
They'll survive just one more day, right? It just looks so nice....
Monday, April 25, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Moving On
Well, it's official. We're looking for a new place to live.
Now, quite honestly, that's a bit insane. Right now we live on-campus and have internet, cable, and water included in rent. It's a fairly safe place to live and everyone here knows us...and more importantly, knows Diva Girl. But the place is tiny. And by tiny, I mean miniscule. At approximately 550 square feet, this place is not big enough for 4 people. When Rascal started walking it seemed like the place shrunk even more.
For a while I felt guilty for being discontent here. After all, 2 years ago we were living in an unfinished basement. How dare I complain about a 2 bedroom place that is all our own? But the more I thought about it, the more I've seen my kids grow frustrated with the lack of space...the more I realize that while I'm grateful for what we have, it's time for us to move on. Wanting more is not wrong. Especially when we see how much difference it makes when Diva Girl is in a bigger space, how much happier she is to be able to move around. A kid deserves to be able to run around in their home. I actually think living here holds her back, it's a source of constant frustration for her.
So now we're faced with a crazy mission. To find a place to be happy in, within our budget. Ideally, this place would be an actual home or duplex, with some kind of yard (Diva Girl loves yards, they make her the happiest little girl in the world). Washer and dryer connections. A kitchen that actually sees a bit of sunshine. Oh, and we'd need landlords that will actually let us rent from them despite our credit and puny paychecks.
Right, so we need a miracle. Good thing God specializes in them.
Now, quite honestly, that's a bit insane. Right now we live on-campus and have internet, cable, and water included in rent. It's a fairly safe place to live and everyone here knows us...and more importantly, knows Diva Girl. But the place is tiny. And by tiny, I mean miniscule. At approximately 550 square feet, this place is not big enough for 4 people. When Rascal started walking it seemed like the place shrunk even more.
For a while I felt guilty for being discontent here. After all, 2 years ago we were living in an unfinished basement. How dare I complain about a 2 bedroom place that is all our own? But the more I thought about it, the more I've seen my kids grow frustrated with the lack of space...the more I realize that while I'm grateful for what we have, it's time for us to move on. Wanting more is not wrong. Especially when we see how much difference it makes when Diva Girl is in a bigger space, how much happier she is to be able to move around. A kid deserves to be able to run around in their home. I actually think living here holds her back, it's a source of constant frustration for her.
So now we're faced with a crazy mission. To find a place to be happy in, within our budget. Ideally, this place would be an actual home or duplex, with some kind of yard (Diva Girl loves yards, they make her the happiest little girl in the world). Washer and dryer connections. A kitchen that actually sees a bit of sunshine. Oh, and we'd need landlords that will actually let us rent from them despite our credit and puny paychecks.
Right, so we need a miracle. Good thing God specializes in them.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Heavy Stuff
Sometimes it seems like life gets crazier than I am quite equipt to deal with. Right now is one of those times.
Schoolwork.
One kid who is taking steps back, steps that were hard earned.
The other kid is bounding ahead, getting into everything, and moving at a pace I can't keep up with.
There's never enough time.
My apartment is never clean.
I can't do enough therapy with her as I should.
I'm wishing I had a real home, with a yard and a washer and dryer
And on and on and on...
And then there is that moment. When I'm reading a book to my sweet son, and my girl comes up to me and asks for tickles. And then we're all on the floor, laughing, and tickling each other. We are all completely in the moment, content and full of love. Their little faces are flush and their eyes are bright and I know that to them I am Superwoman. And I'm inspired all over again to live up to how they see me.
In 20 years, I'll miss the chaos.
Schoolwork.
One kid who is taking steps back, steps that were hard earned.
The other kid is bounding ahead, getting into everything, and moving at a pace I can't keep up with.
There's never enough time.
My apartment is never clean.
I can't do enough therapy with her as I should.
I'm wishing I had a real home, with a yard and a washer and dryer
And on and on and on...
And then there is that moment. When I'm reading a book to my sweet son, and my girl comes up to me and asks for tickles. And then we're all on the floor, laughing, and tickling each other. We are all completely in the moment, content and full of love. Their little faces are flush and their eyes are bright and I know that to them I am Superwoman. And I'm inspired all over again to live up to how they see me.
In 20 years, I'll miss the chaos.
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