It's the question that I keep getting asked lately. From people who know me well and from people who barely know me but know about our family. Apparently, I'm starting to look as frazzled as I feel most days!
People tend to apologize to me because they can't help in the way that they think I need help. Yes, we absolutely want people to donate to BCA. Yes, we love babysitters. No, we don't expect everyone to do those things. We don't even WANT everyone to do those things. We don't want friends and family who are themselves struggling to get by, feel like they have to donate triple digits in the name of being helpful. We don't want people who are not "regulars" in our kids lives to babysit (and inevitably struggle the entire night while the kids take advantage of "the newbie"!), as appreciative as we are of those who can and do.
So here is a list of ways that anyone can help us. Some of them take time, some of them take money, and some of them are goofy. But hey...you asked. Ok, maybe you didn't, but still.
- We all know that I'm about 50% caffeine. Coffee makes my world go round. Want to make my day? Get me a white chocolate mocha. It may seem silly, but the combination of coffee and kindness always lightens my load and puts a pep in my step. I've had friends who got gift cards for Starbucks and gave them to me because they don't like coffee, and I swear there is a special place in heaven for those people.
-Coupons. I use them and they help our family more than you'd guess. Just save the inserts from your Sunday paper for me and I will clip em and use em. Your trash (or recyclables) is my treasure!
- Come on over. Bring the kids, they can run around together. Keep an eye out while I do the laundry and write a few emails. Give me someone to talk to while I sweep and take Rascal to the bathroom every 30 minutes of my life. And while you're at it...
- Bring dinner. No, I didn't just have a baby or surgery or any of the other acceptable reasons that people bring you dinner. But cooking is incredibly difficult lately (Rascal hasn't napped and is screaming, Diva Girl is underfoot and requesting chicken nuggets over and over and over, and Vlad is ready for bed and wants me to hold him the entire time or he screams at me. Also, none of my children understand the danger of a hot stove.) so getting to skip that experience is a huge blessing.
- Listen. I really don't think that requires an explanation.
- Gas. We spend a ridiculous amount on gas. Driving to this therapy and that doctor and then to more therapy has put quite a toll on our gas budget. So for Christmas this year, we're asking for gift cards to get gas! Mostly though, just let me know if you see any good deals on gas, or gift cards for gas. Or heck, if you have a good discount on your kroger rewards, just let us pull up behind you and fill er up and we can give you cash. Anything to save on gas!!!
- Prayers. Pray for the kids. Pray for me. Pray for Husband. Pray for our family, for our marriage, for our sanity. I believe that prayer really does make a difference in our lives.
- Give me a call after you declutter. If you are taking things to Goodwill, let me have a shot at it first. We have been SO grateful for the many hand-me-downs that keep our kids well dressed. There are always little things we can use but don't make it into the budget, and I love feeling like I got to go shopping without that pesky spending money thing. Plus, I have such a good time passing those things on when we're done with them.
-Hold the baby. Seriously, my arms are killing me. Just go ahead, next time you see me...play with the baby for 5 minutes and give my arms a break.
- Love my kids. Let them climb on you a bit. Understand if they ignore you. Accept them as they are. It helps, more than you know.
Yeah, that is a pretty good list of ways you can help, if you feel the urge to do such a thing. God bless every person who does even one of these things. Having 3 kids is hard, and when 2 of those kids have special needs....well, I guess that makes it all more difficult. It's just my life, I don't know any difference. But just as much as I can't imagine my kids any differently, I also can't imagine doing this without the help of others. I'm blessed!