Success!

I promised I would keep you posted, so here is my first update for my new project (if you have no idea what I'm talking about, read the post before this, Childhood Reclaimed).

First day was such a success, it felt like a conformation of what I am trying to do. I took out 3 books, ranging from easy peasy board book to a book that has about 4-5 sentences per page. I guess I was feeling optimistic. To start, I just sat and read the board book to a captive audience of one (Vlad of course...he couldn't run away even if he wanted to). This seemed to peak Rascal's interest so he wandered over and climbed into my lap. So I pulled out the slightly harder second book. We start reading and I sense Diva Girl is looking over, so I turn the book so she can see it as well. Then...miracle of miracles...she skips over and snuggles up next to me. And it happened. I read a book to all three of my children for the very first time. Yes, I cried.

The Book! Yay!

That afternoon we read all three books together. Diva Girl got pretty hyper excited and kept pinching my arms, so I have some bruises, but I will take excited pinching for reading! In the back of my mind I wondered how long this has been a possibility, how long my kids have just been waiting for me to do this with them. But I decided to not go down the guilt path. I did try to do this last month but this time around I had a completely different approach and it happened to work. The thing that truly amazes me is that the kids have just started pulling out books and flipping through them more, and Rascal has hit me with a book, which I think is his was of asking me to read to him. Or at least that is how I'm going to take it.

The Cat in the Hat

Your Kind of Mommy

Day two was almost as much of a success as day one! We finger painted and it was a crazy half hour of prep, painting, and clean up. The kids seemed to be in disbelief that we were doing this on the kitchen table! They have an easel that we paint on, which is great, but I wanted to embrace the spirit of the challenge and go outside of my comfort zone. In the end we ended up with two happy kids, six painted hands, and one big masterpiece.

We used a LOT of wipes!

I loved seeing their different styles of art. Diva Girl is my cautious one, she doesn't like to mix her colors. But she loves to get paint on her hand and do her handprint over and over again.

Rascal wants to use every color there is and mix them together and gets paint EVERYWHERE!









So, there we go...2 days into the challenge and I am feeling so very glad I've done it. If you want to, please join in! I'd love to have some friends join me in the journey and keep me posted on how they are doing. Just 1 hour a day, 1 activity during that hour....no tv, no cell phone, no computer. Just kids being kids with their Mama.

Childhood reclaimed

I don't know if you've seen the blog post "How To Miss A Childhood", but it has been floating around through my circle of friends and acquaintances for a few days now. If you haven't read it yet, go and read through it here. It's ok, I'll wait a few minutes.

Yes, when I first read it I felt the guilt start to rise. I know that I am one of "those" moms. The one who can't have her phone away from her. Who checks facebook obsessively...and while I'm on I may as well check email and my favorite message board. Whether I'm in the car or on my couch or at a friend's house, I still feel the need to check everything. Now, in the back of my mind I completely understand that this is unhealthy and that the interwebs will not shut down if I fail to check facebook for half an hour. It is a compulsion, an obsession, a time waster, and a life stealer. I've known these things, that part wasn't really a new revelation to me.

But that other part? About "How To Grasp A Childhood"? Now, that part made me think. The first bit did its part in making me feel guilty, but this part didn't do a thing to motivate me to get out from behind the computer. So I took a day to chew on it. I read it again. I read all the comments.

Then it hit me.

Part of the reason I hide behind my cell phone and I feel like the tv must be on all the time is because I don't know what to do otherwise. My kids don't want me the way other kids want their moms. Oh they love me, undoubtedly. They enjoy our cuddles and tickles. But much of what they want from me is physical (tight hugs) or needs based (fetching them food and drink). They don't want me to read to them. In fact, when I try they tend to yank the book out of my hands and throw it to the floor. They don't want me to join in there play (just try touching one of  Diva Girl's toys...you may find yourself in the middle of a storm of fury!) I can't take them outside to play because we have no fenced in yard to keep them safe.

This isn't what I thought it would be like.

I know that the best thing I can do for my kids is give them tons of engaged time through the day. But honestly, I am ashamed to admit, I got tired of being rejected. Over and over again, the message I get from my kids is "Go away, I will get you if I want to." I was tired and hurt and every day I look at my kids and feel like I wish I could connect with them and play with them but I can't. So yes, it's easier for me to pull up facebook and feel like I'm "connected" to people. It's easier for me to read blogs than to try to read to my kids. Some of you may not understand this, some of you may judge me for this.I judge myself for this. I'm not trying to blame my kids for my behavior, I'm just trying to explain it.

After coming to these realizations, I know I have to do something about this. Sure, leaving my kids to play by themselves might be what they want, but I know that isn't best for them. Sure, burying my head in the internet is easier, but motherhood isn't easy. Somethings got to give, and I guess that something is me. So I'm starting today. For one hour a day, every day- no phone, no computer, no tv. That might seem like very little but I have to start somewhere, and for me that is a big leap to make. I will turn them off, so as to resist temptation. And every day I will give myself a little challenge of something to do with the kids. I'll keep you posted on how it goes (whoever "you" are...I have no idea who reads this). Pray for me, folks, because this has to be a God thing or I will fail miserably. These tasks may sound small, but some of them are particularly challenging for my troupe. Some of them may end up looking very different than the traditional ways people do them with their kids...well, I was never one to be like everyone else anyways.

Week 1:
Day 1- Read a book to the kids
Day 2- Fingerpaint
Day 3- Fun with bubbles
Day 4- Tea party
Day 5- Kitchen play
Day 6- Water play
Day 7- Take a walk

I love my kids. Now it's time to give them a childhood beyond the therapies and beyond what I had in my head that childhood SHOULD be like. They already know that their mommy loves them, but now it's time for them to know that their mommy enjoys them.