Decisions, decisions

I've started several posts in the past few days, and deleted them all. None of them said anything of real value or importance, and I was trying too hard to say something of some significance. Yes, I'm a perfectionist even when writing a blog post.

Tonight? I've decided to write about something of REAL significance to me.

Recently, I made the decision to stop feeling badly because we can't afford biomedical treatments. I wasn't sure if I wanted them, I just knew that I felt badly that they aren't even an option. I kept thinking "What if somewhere in that lies the key for her? What if I could help her?" But lately, those questions seem to feel just a bit silly. Why? Because I'm seeing the progress right before my very eyes. I'm not worrying about having made the wrong decision putting her in BCA, I'm not agonizing over what we could be doing...I'm just watching her in awe.

We're hearing her say sentences. Real, unprompted sentences! "I want strawberries!" "I see water!" Mama is freaking out!!! Oh, and play...we are seeing imaginative play! She's hitting less, she's talking more, she's on the cusp of being ready to potty train...she could probably jump buildings with a single bound, if she really wanted to.

What we're doing is working for her. It's working for us. I have no regrets.

My only hope is that we can keep her there. As we approach March we will have to decide if we can do another year at BCA. I simply can't imagine life without it, but I have no idea if we can commit to another year. As always, I want the best for our little girl. Now that I'm 100% positive that we're on the right path, I can't stand the thought of it being pulled away from her.

Actually, I have another hope...I hope that other parents can feel the same certainty I feel right now, whatever path they embark on with their kids. I know of no one that has the pocketbook to pursue every treatment out there for their child, and I know how tough it can be trying different things and hoping that it works. And agonizing over what to try next. I know we don't have it all figured out, but I am happy with where we are right now. Wish that everyone could feel the same!