I didn't do it...

I'm half in disbelief that this progress is real, and the other half of me is praying that it sticks.

My beautiful, smart, amazing little girl is using words. To communicate. She is talking to me, people!! She is telling me "all done" and "you're welcome" and "I'm sorry". Foods are being requested regularly, it's no longer like pulling teeth to get her to tell me what she wants. The change has been gradual, in that it's something we've worked at for months now, but at the same time it seems like she has suddenly just begun to decide to use her words.

Every day her daily notes from BCA are filled with excitement over this new chattiness, and I feel like our "team" is just bursting with pride. This is the breakthrough we've been hoping for, waiting for.

So it came up today (it was bound to come up)...what did I do? What did we change?
The answer is complex and simple at the same. The simple answer is...nothing. no diet changes, no vitamins or supplements, nothing "unlocked" this speech for her. The complex answer is...everything. We changed our lives and work every day with the team at BCA to encourage speech. We've done our best to be consistent and struggled through some tough phases and just kept pushing her.

The truth is, both of those answers are hard for me. I want guarantees. I want to know that if I do A, I will get B. I want to be able to ask other mom's what worked for them, implement it, and see results. But it just doesn't work that way, autism is too tricky for all that predictability. Us moms are left to comparing notes and trying this thing and that thing until we run out of money, and evaluating every word and action in hopes to see results. Then when we do see a difference we wonder if it was the supplements or the therapy or just plain luck.

Personally, we've tried enough things to thoroughly confuse my family memembers. GFCF for months, and she still regressed. Tried a few supplements. Dairy free, swore we saw a difference, then rethought it again. In the name of therapy we've acquired a trampoline, weighted vest, medical brushes, and more. The conclusion that I've come to is that a lot of it just doesn't work for Diva Girl. What we're doing now seems to be doing her a world of good, and that's all I know.

It's unfair. I want to be able to "fix" something. I want to be able to tell other moms "this is what we did and it will work for you!" But our kids are all so different and they respond to their own individual things.

I know that the puzzle piece is a symbol of autism. I'm starting to feel like Diva Girl is a puzzle that came with too many pieces and no picture. I just have to keep trying different combinations, and pray it falls into place, knowing that the end result will be a beautiful picture.
I always have enjoyed a good puzzle.