Sometimes I think there is a huge neon sign above my head that says "Crappy mother!!"
Not because of the things I do (heavens no, I am perfect!), but because of the things my darling toddler does. You know, the things that make you cringe in public. The things you have to apologize for. Here are just a few gems from the past few days.

-On friday we took Diva Girl to the pediatrician. She was asleep when we got there, which was perfect. But of course she had to wake up to be examined and she was NOT happy about it. So we're doing everything we can to make this seem fun and the nurse in promising to give her a lollipop when we're done. I notice she's looking at a picture on the wall so I cheerfully say "Look, there's a doggie in the picture! What does the doggie say?!" And she glares at the picture and screeches "NO!" The nurse cracks up and doesn't even wait till we're gone to go over to the other nurses and tell them the story "Hey, did you hear that little girl? Let me tell you what she said, it was hilarious!"

-Diva Girl colored on the wall. That would be bad enough in my own home...but this isn't my home! I mean, what am I supposed to do about that? Besides work on a way to take if off the wall, of course.

-Last night we had a guest speaker for our missionary service at church. Diva Girl was happily munching away at some chips when the speaker, Pastor C, came up and started talking to her. At first she smiled, and was wonderfully charming. But then he made a crucial misstep... he touched her hair. There went the smile and good attitude. She then got mad that he dared to continue talking to her and pointed her cute little finger at him. Then she said it..."Go!"
Hmmm, maybe he didn't notice it...
"GO AWAY!" *furiously pointing her once cute little finger*
At this point I want to crawl into a hole and die, while everyone else at the table is laughing so hard I hope they pee on themselves. instead, I tell Diva Girl she is not being nice and apologize to the Pastor.

-Diva Girl has two big welts on her face. The first one was my fault I guess...she was underfoot as I opened the freezer and something fell out and smacked her in the face. But then later she was downstairs watching t.v. while I ran upstairs to rinse out some dishes and I suddenly heard a crash and a cry. I ran downstairs and found that she'd climbed up onto a box and had been reaching for some medicine (which had been well out of reach BEFORE she stepped on that box). Instead of getting the medicine, she knocked a flashlight onto her head. Good job. So yeah, on the one hand I feel horrible that she got hurt and feel that it's my fault in part. But on the other hand...c'mon kid, do you have to make me look like a negligent/abusive parent? Can't wait to bring her to our new playgroup tomorrow, they're going to wonder why half of her face is red and swollen.
By the way, she's a tough kid, barely cried both times.

Then there are all the everyday things. The nose picking. The hitting me if she gets mad. The insisting to wear something even though it's gross.

But then there are the awesome moments. Like tonight, when I was putting her to bed and pretended to be asleep so she would lay down. She took her little blanket and put it over me and patted me sweetly. *heart melts*